What Should I Know About Child Custody Mediation at Court?

The law provides that before a judge can make any decisions concerning child custody or visitation, the parties and children must first participate in a counseling session with a court mediator. This is not actually a court, but a licensed marriage and family counselor whose only job is to help parents work out agreements concerning custody and visitation without involving the judge.

In Los Angeles County, these meditations are conducted by the Conciliation Court, while in Orange County they are conducted by Mediation and Investigative Services. The procedure in both counties, however, is basically the same. The spouses meet with a marriage and family counselor to discuss whatever disagreements they have concerning the children.

The counselor usually begins by meeting with both parents together. After this initial meeting, one of the parents is asked to leave the room so that the counselor can talk to the one parent separately. When this individual meeting is over, the counselor then talks separately with the other parent. There may be additional separate and joint meetings, and the counselor might want to talk to the children.

If the parents are able to agree on some or all of the disputed child custody and visitation issues, the counselor will prepare a written agreement, which the parents are asked to sign. This agreement is then forwarded to the judge, who confirms it as a court order.

There are several things that you should know about the mediation process.

1. If you believe your spouse poses a threat to you, advise the mediation office ahead of time. Where there is a history of domestic violence, the law provides that the mediator must schedule separate sessions for the parents.

2. Do not bring your children to the mediation sessions, unless you are requested to do so by the counselor. If you are requested to bring the children with you, have another adult come with you so that you will have someone to watch the children while you and your spouse are jointly meeting with the counselor.

3. Before the mediation session, make notes about the things that you want to discuss, and be sure to bring your notes with you to the mediation session.

4. If you and your spouse work out any agreements, immediately mail or deliver a copy of your agreement to our office. After a mediation session, either party can rescind the agreement, but this usually has to be done within ten (10) days after the agreement is signed.

5. Attorneys usually do not participate in the mediation process. So, unless the counselor requests the attorney’s presence, they are not present at the mediation session.

6. You should participate in the mediation process with an open mind and with the realization that a considerable amount of time, money and emotional strain can be saved if you and your spouse can amicably resolve your child custody and visitation disputes without having to go to trial. On the other hand, you should enter into a full or partial agreement with your spouse only if you honestly believe the agreement is fair and reasonable and is in your children's best interests. You should not allow yourself to be pressured or browbeaten into signing an agreement, either by the counselor or your spouse.

7. The law gives the judge the power to assess monetary penalties against a parent who fails to come to a scheduled mediation session. So, if you find that you cannot make the scheduled meeting, you must call the Conciliation Court or Mediation Services office immediately.

^{-Glen L Rabenn, Certified Family Law Specialist}